I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
