so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
