The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
