Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
