So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
