Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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