Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize