On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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