im drinking this country out of the recession.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want to make out with him forever
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
