I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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