Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
there was a trapeze. enough said
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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