we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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