I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the day after is always just damage control
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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