Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
