Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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