OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
