He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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