Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
