We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
