shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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