After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
