wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
