i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
