Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
