ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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