I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
