Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
