can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
