I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
