i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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