Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
