i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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