last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
