so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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