Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
