Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
