i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
