I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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