I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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