I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
