We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
