I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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