I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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