college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
As shirtless as possible
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
