I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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