We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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