I wanna bring you to show and tell
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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