saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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