i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
