i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He felt like a one man threesome
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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