whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
