Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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