he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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