Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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