I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
