Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
