how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
