he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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