I'm laying in your front yard are you home
thus making me awesome and them whores
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize