Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
