from now on my penis is your penis
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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